


Test Tube Shots

by snowcappedeevee



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 fic, Alcohol, Angst, M/M, and it's mostly about Dan, but a fine ending, just a realistic thing to happen, sort-of? it's just kind of a sad time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 12:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8327098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowcappedeevee/pseuds/snowcappedeevee
Summary: Dan decides to go out to a gay bar before he meets Phil irl





	

Dan wanted experience. Once he finally met Phil, he wanted to impress him with sexual expertise. He wanted to make him feel good, and avoid any awkward mistakes. Phil wouldn’t mind, but he still didn’t want their first time to be a mess. There were gay bars a short train ride away in Reading, and he really needed to will himself to go to one. He told his parents he was going to a friend’s house and might not be coming home.

He had no idea what to wear. Google searches were inconclusive. He couldn’t figure out if he should dress a certain way to attract men. He picked a button down and dark jeans, but he felt just like he felt any other day. He hoped that’d be enough.

He casually got a glass of orange juice from the kitchen and brought it back to his room. It was the best chaser in the house for his cheap tequila. He didn’t have a shot glass, so he took a swig of the tequila straight from the bottle. After two more, he yelled “bye” to his family and went out the door.

He got off the train in Reading and slowly walked in the direction of the bar. He hoped that it was actually as popular as the internet said it was. He wasn’t as buzzed as he wanted to be when he got there, but it was never bad to be coherent when dealing with bouncers.

When he got in, it was nearly midnight, and luckily the bar was pretty busy. Walking into a gay bar was like walking into another world. There were blacklights and male pole dancers. The energy was different from any bar he’d set foot in before. Being around so many men who felt the same way he did was electric. Any of these men could be interested in him, and that realization was freeing. 

He arrived at the bar and thought about what to drink. Getting a tequila shot had the potential to make him look lonely. He analyzed the bottles lining the back wall, hoping that something would jump out at him. 

The bartender pointed at him and said “you?”

“Oh, uh, come back to me,” said Dan.

“Other people want drinks, honey, you’re gonna have to decide or step aside.”

“Um…can you make me something with tequila?”

“Coming right up.” He poured Dan tequila, orange juice, and grenadine and handed it to him. Dan thanked him and paid and wandered away from the bar. He wondered if his drink looked too girly.

He stood by a table and sipped his drink, taking in the crowd. Everyone was so beautiful. Perfect chiseled bodies left and right. He couldn’t decide who he wanted more. He finished his drink too fast, hoping that liquid confidence would help. He had no idea how to approach anyone.

He took out his phone. He didn’t tell Phil where he was going. He had a text from him saying “Skype?” He sighed and thought about what to tell him.

“Not tonight, family night,” he texted back. Phil would probably see right through that one, but he thought he might as well try. He put his phone away and walked to the other side of the bar. He bought a test tube shot from one of the scantily clad boys walking around with them. His drink was finished and he debated getting another one.

When he arrived at the bar, a girl was there. She was a short, feminine brunette with blue eyes. She seemed to be alone, sipping a beer. Girls were mildly more in the realm of comfort than gay men, so figured there was no harm in just talking to her. Maybe she had hot friends.

“Hey, what are you doing at a gay bar?” He asked her. 

“I’m here with my boyfriend,” she said. She didn’t say it in a threatening way, though, she just stated it as fact. She actually smiled at him as she said it and didn’t turn away when she was done. 

“Oh, fun,” he replied. 

He expected the conversation to end there, but she seemed interested in talking to him. “Where are you from?” She asked.

“I’m from Wokingham,” he said. “You?”

“I’m from around here,” she said. “Are you in school?” 

“Yeah, taking a semester off before I go to uni. You?”

“No, I just work.” She took another sip of her beer. “What are you studying?”

“Law, actually,” he said. It still didn’t feel real to him.

“Wow, good for you,” she replied. “I’ve never been to a gay bar before, have you?”

“No, this is my first one,” he said. “How do you like it?”

“It’s different,” she said. “But friendly. We’re trying to go to more of them, lately. My boyfriend and our friends. I’m here with a whole bunch of guys. You?”

“Yeah, it’s definitely different,” he said. “It’s nice, though. A lot of attractive people.”

As they talked more, Dan quickly realized that she wasn’t picking up on his flirtatious implications. He didn’t really mean to flirt with her, it just came naturally, because she was very attractive and presumably attracted to men. He didn’t know where her boyfriend was, but he was hoping they were in an open relationship. It was no use, though, because it was clear as their conversation progressed that she thought he was gay. 

It was a weird feeling. He’d never been read as gay before by someone who accepted it. Slurs hardly fazed him anymore, and he was used to being called gay as an insult. But this girl saw him as just a friendly person at the bar, who happened to be gay. It was an odd feeling, but Dan didn’t mind it. It was a little unfortunate, though, since he would’ve been happy to go home with her if there was no one else interested.

A boy came up to the girl and hugged her. She smiled and introduced him to Dan. Quickly after that, though, she turned away from Dan to talk to the boy. They seemed to be immersed in their conversation, so Dan got another drink and slinked away to the other end of the club. 

By then, it was just past one o’clock, and he noticed that as time went on, more and more people coupled off. There seemed to be guys making out every which way he looked. He wondered how they had approached each other, and wondered why no one approached him.

The drinks at this bar were stronger than he thought, and at this point he was drunk. He took out his phone and stared at it. There were a few texts from Phil, but nothing important. He still wasn’t ready to tell Phil where he was, so he put his phone away again. 

When he looked up, there were significantly more people making out. Or maybe it was less people at the club entirely. He looked around for that girl he had met, telling himself that this time, he’d ask her if any of her friends were hot and single. Being around so many attractive gay men made him horny, and at this point he wanted to hookup for pleasure as much as experience. 

Clearly he wasn’t going to find anyone here. Everyone in the room had found someone, and it was almost one thirty at that point. The bar would be closing in just over a half hour. He decided to leave and try again next time. He’d have to come earlier, next time. That would work.

He stood outside and inhaled the fresh air. Across the street was another bar, which seemed to be pretty full despite the time. He went in, thinking at this point there’s nothing to lose, and maybe he’d even find a single girl. 

The atmosphere was nothing like the gay club. It was like the rest of the world. Straight people everywhere. Dan was thankful that he didn’t dress provocatively. 

There were people sitting at the bar and eating. He was a little hungry. He sat down, and the bartender came right up to him. A woman in her twenties. 

“Is the kitchen open?” He asked. 

“You got two more minutes,” she responded.

He looked around. “I’ll take nachos.”

She nodded and walked away. She returned with a glass of water and put it in front of Dan. He didn’t realize he was that drunk. 

Phil hadn’t texted him in a few hours and he was probably asleep by now, but Dan was drunk and he missed him, so he texted him. The night was a failure, so he might as well be honest.

Phil was awake and responded quickly. “Hey Dan, what are you up to?”

“I think I’ve hit a new level of pathetic,” he responded. 

“Oh no, what happened?”

“I was given a water and I didn’t even have to ask for it.”

“Are you drunk?”

“I guess. Not really.”

“Where are you?”

“Reading.”

“Are you with people?”

“No.”

“Dan, be safe.”

“I’m fine.”

“Whenever you try to tell me you’re not drunk, you’re always wasted.”

Dan was lucky to have such a concerned…someone. As soon as Phil told Dan he was wasted, he started to feel it. He thought about throwing up, but decided he didn’t need to.

His nachos came in record time and he was very thankful. 

“What are you doing in Reading this late?” Phil asked.

“Nothing.” He waited for Phil to respond, but he got impatient and said “eating nachos.”

Phil ignored that and instead asked “how are you getting home?”

“The bartender is hot.”

“Don’t hookup with the bartender. How are you getting home?”

“I don’t know.”

“Get a taxi.”

“Can’t afford it.”

“Dan, you can’t sleep on the street. I’ll pay you back, get a taxi.”

“Fine.” Dan paid for his food, which he had tried to eat slowly, and left. He wondered if the people in there knew he came from the gay bar. He wondered if they knew that he had failed so miserably. 

He got in the taxi and thanked Phil. Maybe he didn’t need anyone else, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks Ickle and BlueBox for helping me make this realistic since I am not from the UK!


End file.
